6 Misconceptions About Africa And Africans!

Africa and Africans have always been underrated, and everyday, at least one African is exposed to this reality through interactions with the western world via the internet or travel.

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This annoying condescending western attitude sky-rocketed with the recent ebola crises. Anyways, who cares.  As far as we’re concerned, Africa isn’t any of these things listed below;

#6 Technological Void

Africa still operates on steam powered engines and dial-up phones right? Well, no you’re wrong.

Whatever you’ve got Africa’s got too. They just maybe get it few months after you get yours.

A Research In Motion Ltd. BlackBerry email device is pictured in New York, Tuesday, December 6, 2005. Research In Motion Ltd. isn't negotiating to settle a patent lawsuit that could shut down its BlackBerry e-mail service in the U.S. shortly, said a co-founder of the company that filed the litigation. Photographer:  Andrew Harrer/Bloomberg News. APPEARS TO BE THE 6210 PHONE:  http://uk.blackberry.com/devices/archived/6210.jsp

To think Africa has a void in technological advancement is laughable at best. Some westerners also hold the belief that South Africa is the only advanced country in Africa.

Well there you’re wrong again. There’s Egypt, Algeria and Nigeria; these three having the largest economy with Nigeria being the largest of them all.

Africa has no technology? Think again. Even the massai in 2015 now sends cattle prices via text messages.

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#5 All Africans Are Black

Hmmmm, we guess calling Africa the dark continent isn’t so far-fetched after-all. Yet we feel this might be sort of an injustice to some people. Consider this question. Are all Europeans white? Are all Americans white? Are all Japanese…(Ignore the Japanese part).

Anyways you get our point. A long long time ago, foreign settlers found their way to Africa– and the ones that didn’t get murdered by tiny mosquitoes; you know those tiny shitty things that come with a horror movie theme song which they sing in your ear before they suck the shit out of you?

Anyways these, settlers lived and multiplied as the good lord ordered in the bible.(Forgive our melodrama).

Fast forward to 2015 and their descendants live here. Whites, Indians and even Chinese can now be found in Africa and live as Africans. Being African is not a color. Black does not define Africa. The content of your character defines whether you are African, (and we’re not trying to go Martin Luther on your ass).

To think all Africans are black is to think all Americans or British are white. It only translates to a high level of ignorance that truly is embarrassing. Yes we get embarrassed for westerners who display such ignorance.

#4 Africans Roll With Mufasa & The Gang

Some westerners are of the notion that wildlife is so plentiful in Africa that Africans ride giraffes around and share house with neighbors who look like Simba and Pumba.

First of all for you ignorant lots, Africa isn’t some desert or jungle with naked hunters running around. If you’ve traveled at all to Africa, you’d know Africa has cities. Cities with modern skyscrapers, cars and trains.

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Africa’s concrete metropolis is hardly a place where you’d catch a smooth talking zebra named Marty while he was jay-walking(or dancing shoki). That would be just weird. (A talking zebra that sounds like Chris Rock would be even weirder anyway).

Cities naturally have no conducive habitat for wildlife which is why there are nature parks and zoos all over the place. Africans would be mad to live in close proximity with lions and rhinos. Africans have babies too you know and a Panther hardly strikes as the next door baby-sitter. (And don’t you dare say Bagheera was kind to Mowgli! That was a stupid cartoon. In real life, Bagheera would eat Mowgli for breakfast)

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#3 Africa Is One Country

Actually this should have been number one due to the sheer stupidity of it but we thought we’d just deal with it once and for all.

Some Americans and Europeans have displayed their ignorance to incredulous Africans all the time by erroneously thinking and verbally expressing that Africa is one country.

Oh woe unto the western educational system for leaving African studies in the hands of Sir H. Rider Haggard’s ‘King Solomon’s mines.’ Kids know about the shitty movie now but nothing about Africa, a continent with over fifty unique, culturally different countries.

And what’s more, this school of thoughts isn’t limited to the kids alone. Older westerners commit this blunder too. They think Africa is a country where everybody is a cousin and know each other. ( If that were the case, the Italian mob would hold nothing to the African ultimate family). But sorry to disappoint you because this is so untrue and unrealistic. The continent of Africa is the second largest with a population of over one billion people. The well known countries like Nigeria, South Africa, Kenya, Egypt, Zimbabwe, Uganda, Libya and the rest are just a few of the over fifty countries there are. Gosh what a douche some people are. To think that you’re just now learning geography on Adamsapple when you should have stayed in class.

#2 Africans Speak English?

If another western person asked you how you’re able to speak english again, you should ask them how they were born.

It’s shocking to see how some Europeans and Americans get shocked to find Africans that speak english or any other ‘civilized’ language.

To many westerners, Africans speak savage languages that sound like too many clicks (think Predator). But then, aren’t predators said to be superior to us?

Anyways, for you ignorant thinkers, the reason Africans are able to speak english quite well is because of something called a school. (How come you didn’t think of that right? Beats us too). Africa has lots of schools and some schools are even better equipped than schools in the so-called developed world. Africa is not only about all the unclothed children you see on CNN. One more thing, most Africans speak more than one language. Take that.

#1 Africans Are Stupid

Some westerners believe Africans are ‘sun-touched sons of bitches’. They think Africa cannot rule itself and will never get out of poverty and diseases. (Well at least Africans are not the ones creating global warming)

But who is really stupid? At adamsapple, we think Africans are actually very intelligent. Let’s look at the case of internet scams. Europeans and Americans are the ones who keep sending cash to phantom women in Africa. If you ask us, we think those sun-tans are beginning to touch your brains too.

Africans are also considered stupid because of this guy, Dr. James Watson. In Watson’s own words, “All our social policies are based on the fact that their(Africans) intelligence is the same as ours– whereas all the testing says not really.”

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Watson is a nobel prize winner, an award he nabbed for his role in identifying DNA back in the 50s-60s era, so one would expect his comments to be highly viable. But then, this is also a guy who back in 1997 told a British newspaper that a woman should have the right to abort her unborn child if tests proved it would grow up to be gay. He has also argued in favour of genetic screening claiming, “stupidity” could finally be cured and pretty girls could be genetically manufactured.

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Watson’s colleagues have since labeled him scandalous, and his comments baseless and unscientific. But yeah, tell that to the next KKK zealot. But one thing we do know about well known people going round making racial comments is you’ve got to be the stupidest person in the universe, cuz in the twenty first century, it doesn’t take much than a fool’s tongue to get fucked. You just ask Paula Deen and Oba Akiolu of Lagos.

So there you have it. Africa isn’t what you really think and you can vacation there. A lion will eat you only if you’re bad. Lol, we’re just kidding.

Written by Segun Ogundeko.

                                                                                         This annoying condescending western attitude sky-rocketed with the recent ebola crises.

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